We all know that forgiveness can be very hard. We have all experienced the struggle at one point or another in our lives. The pain we bear from being hurt might be too great to let go of the deep resentment we feel. Or we might fear that if we forgive, the person who hurt us will not get their comeuppance. Or we might think that our honor or status requires that we take vengeance. Indeed, our culture has many famous revenge stories, both classics, like the play Hamlet, or in pop culture, like the Kill Bill movies. When we read or watch such stories, we might feel a sense of satisfaction as the protagonist destroys the villain, rather than offering forgiveness. But the problem is that the lack of forgiveness is self-destructive.
Refusing to forgive has been described as taking poison and hoping that the other person will die. Or as locking ourselves into a cage and throwing away the key. For example, if someone hurt me badly ten years ago and I am still unwilling to forgive, what is happening in me? The person who hurt me still has power over me. He still has control over my thoughts, my feelings, my sense of energy, and to some extent even my actions. As long as I refuse to forgive, I am not my own person. I am still subject to the one who hurt me. He may not even remember my existence, but I am still bound by him in various ways.
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Image Credit: Amish horse and buggy warning signs in Cecilton, Cecil County, Maryland, by Bohemian Baltimore, from Wikimedia Commons.
